Living in another country has its ups and its downs.
One thing that keeps niggling at me is the helplessness you feel when something is going on back home. Whether it is good, bad, or otherwise; when you’re not there to celebrate, console, or grieve with loved ones, you feel as though you’re missing out. At the very least, you feel a bit powerless.
This morning, in the wee early hours, I woke up
crying sobbing from a horribly disturbing nightmare. I’ve been having them off and on for a number of years but it has been a while since my last one. Around 4am my husband woke up to me crying and shouting ‘no’ and once he was able to wake me up, I just sobbed in his arms.
Anyway, after composing myself long enough to realize it was actually 4am and both my husband and I needed some rest (especially since I had to slug my way through work today), I decided to set the alarm on my phone in order to avoid the dreaded disaster of waking up late for work. Just as I was about to do that, I saw a message from my friend K back home, a message that made me wonder about life, the timing of everything, and just what ‘it’ all means.
A former colleague and someone who grew to become a dear friend passed away and K had written to tell me. The woman who passed was, in a way, like another mom to me and she had become that person slowly over the six or so years we worked together whilst in a small little insurance office back in Minnesota. I remember how nearly every week I would hear about how excited she was to retire so she could spend more time with her family and also so she and her husband could explore more of the countryside all from the seat of his pretty pimp motorcycle. She was in love with her family, so much so that it made you love them as well.
V, you are terribly missed and incredibly loved. I will forever cherish our hours of laughter, our Benihana Birthday celebrations, and the cheeky donuts we used to snag from the local bakery. I’ll even miss the way you used to talk about your family, with so much love and joy in your heart.
I always felt deep within that V would overcome the health issues that had plagued her for years simply because she was someone who was meant to live out her entire life surrounded by her awesome family.
Turns out she did just that, however maybe not for as long as we had all hoped.
V, for the love and vibrancy which you showed to those around you.