As of today, I have 14 days left here at the insurance agency. I’ve put in six years at this place and though I will miss the people, I will not miss the job itself. In the spirit of maintaining an honest blog, I’ve been “done” with insurance for quite some time as it was never my passion; it was never that innermost part of me that I woke up thinking about and went to bed dreaming about. It was simply a way for me to pay bills, explore the world, enjoy life, and contribute to society in some small way. But it was never my passion and it never could be.
Photography. That is my passion and it has been since I was a young girl. My dream is to be employed by National Geographic. Big dream, I know. But isn’t that what life is for, dreaming? One thing I know for certain is that I cannot reach such a dream by working in an insurance office. S’true.
And truth to be told, I’m petrified. This job, insurance, it’s been a steady hand for me to hold, it’s been a steady constant in my life, and it’s been a guaranteed paycheck on a very consistent basis. To make the decision to leave this safety net wasn’t an easy one, passion or no passion, it’s been something I could count on for a while now and leaving the safety of this net is a bit daunting. Except…
Me and Si, we’re a team; I know he’s got my back and he knows I have his, always. I’m not alone anymore and neither is he. I don’t have to fret over this next step in the process of not having a job for what could be six to seven months (or longer depending on how the Brit’s feel about hiring an american) because I’ve got my teammate, my partner, my guy. We have each other. When I focus on that, really focus on it, the fear just kind of drifts away.
Making the decision to move overseas and putting it into motion, you never see all of the steps right away, moving on from this job being one of them. And really, that could be said about any big change you make in life.
It’s kind of like walking down a darkened hallway with a dim light opposite of where you are standing; you can see the light in the distance and you can see the next step directly in front of you, but what lies between the two is a mystery, an adventure. It can be scary, exciting, stressful, and full of the greatest happiness but you’ll never know what lies ahead if you refuse to leave your past behind.
So that’s what I’ll do, I’ll leave this chapter behind, focus on placing one foot in front of the other and no matter how difficult it becomes, I won’t stop. I’m going to focus on that light, on one step at a time, and on our love. Altogether now, awwwwwww.