It’s All Happening.

Well today was unexpected. No, not the part where it became Wednesday, but rather the events and emotions that followed. 

Today was the day my employer announced that he officially offered my job to the new hires and they officially accepted. He’s hiring two part-timers to replace me; one is a good friend of mine whom I know will do an excellent job and the other is a seasoned veteran in the insurance industry. Both will fit in well, both will take quality care of our clients, and both will do a great job. My job.

Whoa.

Along this journey me and Si, we’ve rolled with the punches, for the most part. We’ve done what’s been asked, what’s been required, and we’ve rolled along on the day to day tasks just checking little (and big) things off the list; things that bring us one step closer to being together.

Today however, today is the day I was forced to admit that my time here at this place is coming to an end. My full time, steady as can be, five-almost-six-year position, steady-paying job is almost over. Yikes. I didn’t think it would hit me this hard, I mean we all knew I’d be leaving my job (duh) but I guess this was the push I needed to understand the full scope of what’s going on here: I’m leaving the United States and I’m moving to another country to be with the man I love. And to be without a job of any kind until after we’re married (due to the legalities of a Fiance Visa).

Whew.

That’s a lot to take in and it’s also a lot to process. I went home on my lunch break today, had some soup, and talked with Si. Though it was more like he tried to reassure me whilst I… Well… Have you ever done something so drastic and so scary, a well-meaning leap of faith if you will, that you literally became ill? Yup, as of today, me too.

To top off the reality of the day’s events, it turns out both Si and myself are fearful of the same thing; that we’ll end up with an overworked, underpaid bloke who will review only one of the millions of sections of our visa application and deny it just because he can or because he may be having an off day. All the work, all the money, all the time and stress, and all of the hope down the drain because some guy we’ve never met, some guy who doesn’t really know us and our relationship was having a bad day. Wow, talk about a gamble.

I guess that’s what you do for love, you gamble. Even when it gets scary and overwhelming, you gamble on love because without it, what are we here for?

5 thoughts on “It’s All Happening.

  1. jeana……you will be amazing in your adventure of that fairy tale that I have been following you in via words. I will be your cheerleader!!! Never fear because lisa is here to encourage you!!! Hugs and chin up dear!!!

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  2. Bean-
    I believe these posts are your own therapy. One day you will look back on these and maybe giggle a little. One thing you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? I think so. You know the answer also. Now, I haven’t met Si, but seeing these posts and the twinkle in your eye makes me feel like he is a good man. You certainly know how to pick them…. LOL 🙂 I am sorry if friendships are being affected. I don’t know details, but maybe its just because they care about you so much and last time you got royally hurt. I love you Jean… this is a huge adventure. I want nothing but happiness for you because you deserve it. We may not see each other all the time, but I support you. Life is all about ups and downs… We take away what we want from each experience.. right? I will miss you very much. truth be told, we don’t speak very often, but you know I have always considered you a great friend. We have shared many memories, but like you said, its not goodbye, its see you later 🙂 🙂
    Love you!!!
    Always and forever- Duckie

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    1. Hey Duckie, thank you. You’re right, one day I probably will look back on these posts and not only giggle but also roll my eyes at the drama, oh my gawd the drama. 😉 Honestly I think it just all feels like SO MUCH right now but in the scheme of things, it’s all a part of the process and the reason for it all is so much better and so much greater than all the work to get there.

      I love you too sweet girl, thank you for the support, I really do appreciate it. A bunch. We’ve been through hills and valleys and more together, it’s good to know you’re there for me and ready to share this experience with me as well. Many more memories to be shared, I’m sure of it. 🙂

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  3. This stuff isn’t easy for sure, but as a person having gone through this process, I’m so confident it’s going to work out fine. Yep, risks are there but they’re there in every love story, even the childhood sweethearts who grew up on the same street. Your risks right now are a bit alien to most of us but they’re overcome-able. One thing I’ve noticed – since having to jump through all sorts of hoops and live through the heartache of miles of separation to be with my husband forever, I appreciate him and value him on levels I can’t even begin to describe. Levels I know wouldn’t have existed without all the mess. It’s SO worth it, and you guys are gonna be so strong together because of it!

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