The beat goes on.

Well we’ve heard from our immigration lawyer and the application is being put together as we speak. There’s still quite a bit more that needs to be done in order to complete the application but it’s in process and that’s another step in the right direction. Plans (fingers-crossed hoping) for departure by March or April at the latest. Weeeeeeeeee!

That said…

In the spirit of true, brutal honesty and in remembering why I began this blog in the first place; I need to document this process, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And this process? Well it hasn’t been an easy one. In fact, it’s been downright trying and stressful at times. In that same breath however, it has been uplifting and encouraging, positive and exciting. It really just depends on the day.

Truth be told, it’s scary as hell. It’s not a fairy tale. It isn’t all rainbows and puppy dogs. It isn’t all smiles and happy dances. There’s heartbreak and sadness involved and even a little bit of fear. Yeah, fear.

No, this process is definitely not for the faint of heart.

It tests your strength, determination, faith, and decision making abilities. Really it tests who you are and how far you’ll go for love. How far you’ll go for the kind of love that you feel down in your bones, the kind of love that you fear living without because it lifts you to a place you never thought you’d get to go.

Scary.

This process tests the strength of your relationships; not only with the person you’re moving to be with, but also everyone else in your life. Friendships, family, even the occasional acquaintance is questioned because why would they want to get to know you if you’re just going to up and leave in a few months anyway?

No, this process isn’t really a joyful one; it’s one you simply must go through in order to live life with your person, your partner.

The closer departure time gets, the more real it all becomes, the more I realize I’m not really scared or stressed about moving to and living in another country with my guy; instead it’s the leaving my friends and family behind that puts the fear in my heart. Relationships are going to change, some already have (and sadly not for the better), most all of them will be tested, and not everyone is going to be supportive or encouraging.

But hey, that’s life; it’s what we have to face and learn to accept due to the decisions we’ve made. After all that’s a big part of the deal, right; facing the reactions caused by your actions. Or something like that.

So to anyone who calls this a real life fairy tale, that I’ve found my (very) handsome prince and I’ll be living in a beautiful country to be with him; you’re right, it’s a blessing to have stumbled into such a good, strong, incredible love and we’re both crazy happy that we get to be together (yes, you’re sensing a but).

Wait for it… … …

But we must remember that fairy tales are laden with ups AND downs, good AND bad and there’s never really a happy ending; sure the guy kisses his gal at the end and the music plays and the lights fade and the birds tweet their twitterpated songs but…but…but… well then the next day arrives and life goes on and it can be messy and icky and a downright pain in the arse. Oh it can be beautiful, but it can also be ugly.

Let’s be honest here, life isn’t about happy endings and fairy tales and all that other mushy stuff; it’s about making decisions, making mistakes, celebrating successes, being happy, embracing love, and focusing on the good. Even when the bad is really bad and the good seems to dim a little in the every day spotlight; it’s still there, the good, and it’s still worth holding out for day after day. Why? … … Because.

4 thoughts on “The beat goes on.

  1. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but it’s going to be hard, especially in the first year. Relationships you thought were irreplaceable are going to dissolve because it’s “too hard” with you living abroad. Your first year there is going to be full of highs and extreme lows. Honestly, I would consider seeing a counselor there who can help you through your culture shock – which, since England isn’t terribly different, is more a matter of “missing your American life” and “what have I done” shock.

    Your second year, everything will start to level out. You’ll get used to living there, you’ll have routines and will know your way around, and it’ll be easier. Skype will be indispensable, as will your blog and email.

    Just don’t do what I did and use your Skype time with family to just whine and complain. My family was convinced I hated Taiwan and was having a terrible time. Sure, I wasn’t absolutely loving it all the time, but I wasn’t having THAT bad a time.

    Believe it or not, when I found the Wikipedia article on culture shock, everything made more sense, and I felt a lot better.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_shock

    And flights between here and there are less than 10 hours. You’ll be able to visit fairly often 🙂

    Sorry. This is a long comment. But I know (for the most part) what you’re going through.

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    1. I’ve considered, at the very least, finding someone there I can speak to or a group of some kind for those who have moved to England from other countries. Support is important and though Si has been nothing but, I believe it’ll be important for me to connect with those who are walking in my shoes, so to speak. I’m glad you said something.

      I look forward to adapting, I look forward to blooming and finding my way on my own as well as together with Si. I’m building a life WITH him, but I have to make sure I remain happy and only I can do that, you know? Skype, oh yes, I already have Mom set up on it and soon I will make sure others do as well. Ha.

      Your advice regarding what not to do is VERY helpful. I’ll remember that.

      That wiki article is interesting, insightful, and helps give me a better glimpse as to what I can expect. When I moved down to Nebraska years ago, that was sort of on the scale of being a culture shock but nothing like what you experienced or what I’m soon to experience. Roll with the punches, go with the flow and remember to bloom where I’m planted; those will be key points for me.

      Never apologize for a long comment; those are my favorite kind. ESPECIALLY when they involve helpful advice and insight. Thanks Mandy.

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  2. I am so sorry some relationships have been not so nice because ofthis process. Especially when you need support from loved ones now more than ever. You’re gonna have friendships and relationships with family that are gonna knock your socks off with love, though. And you know, you’re right, life isn’t a fairytale and the mess happens to all of us… whether we move to a different country or have a baby or get a new job or join a different church… there will always be those that are 100% behind us cheering us on and then there are those who are like, whatev. I hope when you get over there not only will you make a slew of new British friends but you can find some American immigrants to commiserate with. When I was in Ghana for those weeks, I met some Americans visiting the same area I was and it was so relieving and fun to see things from kinda the same perspective… and I wasn’t even moving there permanently! But it still made a big difference. I’ll be praying for you tons especially that those blessed friendships God placed in your life will rise up and shine all over you and this process… so you can have all the support you need and deserve!

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